These are the 5 top tips I would give to any Bard interested in becoming l33tzorz.

1. Repelling Shot is your most stylish move, use it every time it is up as looking cool raises your dps by 100%. An excellent use of this is to use it to dodge the Tether damage in T10, do not worry about warning your party about your attempt to do this. They may die as they expect to have to save you from the shared damage but simply remind them that you are fabulous bitch and they should have known better.
2. Glamour - For similar reasons as Repelling Shot, a good glamour is necessary for Bard and will give you a flat 200% increase in dps. I suggest farming ST for the Amon Hat as it is BiS for Glamour, also the Kirimu Coat is worth spending the money on but don't go for HQ or bother to meld it as crafted gear is scrub tier.
3. Songs – Your party members will constantly ask you to sing for them, like you are some kind of jukebox. This is a trap, if you are asked to sing songs it is because your party is bad at resource management and are intimidated by your superior dps - Don’t fall for it. Songs are for the other Bard who is your ‘song-bitch’. If there is no other Bard then demand your group takes a Ninja to help lesser classes with TP and when they drop the Monk for one (Dragon Kick LOL), demand that you get every Goad for more deeps because after all, your dps is the only thing that matters. Do not allow your group to drop your Dragoon for a Ninja though because on the occasions they are alive (rarely) the Dragoon's job is to apply the ‘Disembowel’ debuff which will raise your DPS, this is their only job in a raid environment and be sure to remind them of this regularly.
Casters will ask you to play Foe’s and will try to justify it by saying that it doesn’t lower your dps, but as we all know this is a lie and singing Foe’s will cut your overall dps by 50% and no matter how good your glamour is this is an unacceptable loss.
4. Aggro generation (Quelling Strikes) – As a Bard you have one of the most explosive openers in the game. Ninja’s may scoff at this but just remind them that Bards get Hawk’s Eye and watch them cry. Either way, this opener makes it very easy for you to pull aggro from the tank during a pull. You will witness the most epic amount of QQ after you all wipe and hear cries of "Did you pop Quelling?" and "Oh Em Gee Bard! Ur 2 wtf-leet and pro 4 me u need 2 pop da Quelling Strykes plz" from inadequate tanks. Basically the way to deal with this is to remind your Paladin that he should be playing Warrior followed by demanding the group wait 2 minutes for all your cool downs before pulling again. Never pop Quelling as this is just enabling the Paladin to be content with his inadequate hate generation.
5. Skill Speed – Skill Speed is a good stat to stack as it makes you shoot arrows more like a machine gun and that makes you halfway to being like an Apache Helicopter. Everyone knows that an Apache Helicopter is hands down the best thing ever as it has machine guns AND missiles. Some Bards will tell you to stack crit because of Bloodletter but this is over-rated. Remind these people that it’s not the size of your numbers but how fast they penetrate that counts. Also, the more Bloodletters you have procc the less chance you have to use Repelling Shot which is way more stylish than Bloodletter and will up your dps by over 300%. Skill Speed will make you run out of TP faster but this is why you must get all the the Goads from the Ninja (as we discussed earlier).

Follow these steps and you will be a Bard so pro you will probably get kicked from every group or static you get involved in. Don't let this bother you as it's just a case of people being peanut butter and jealous.

#HatersGonnaHateHateHate #TayTay #JustBardLife